passages: a brief moment of introspection

A lull drapes itself over the office and I feel choked by an ominous quiet. The entire working world seems to have drawn its curtains for the holiday season leaving me with nothing but time to quietly reflect upon the past year.

As it drew to a close, the year became one of passages. Many people left my life, but left permanent imprints on my character. My co-worker Frank decided to retire; my favorite yoga teacher is leaving the studio to open his own in New Zealand; another co-worker in the Canadian branch of my company is going back to school. While it’s true none of these people are integral in my life and the loss I feel is nowhere near the grief I would endure were they family members or close friends, these passages got me thinking about the mutability of relationships and how each person, no matter how near and dear, impacts our lives in a way we cannot even fathom. Sometimes this realization doesn’t even occur until they are gone—but I now know that you can learn something from everyone with whom you cross paths.

I thank Frank for his crisp, no-nonsense business savvy and his hardened, sometimes crass perspective on things. I will miss his uncouth remarks (often muttered under his breath so that he thinks no one can hear). It’s hard to believe that I have shared a cubicle with this man for over three years and learned more during the final three days of his tenure than I did over the cumulative period during which we worked side by side. What will truly stick with me, though, is that someone is always watching, listening and judging you regardless of what you might think. As an example, whilst Brett was unemployed, my shopping habits continued unabated. I lamented to my friend Lauren that I had no lunch money resultant from a recent shopping spree when Frank began to quietly lambaste my behavior. It was not his intent for me to hear what he said, but I did nonetheless. As a result, I have learned to be more conscientious of my actions and more mindful of my opinions and expulsive nature. Sometimes, when observing yourself through other’s eyes—you realize how ridiculous you may in fact be.

Before having Robert as my Bikram instructor, I never fully understood nor embraced the concept of a “student-teacher” relationship. Even my relationships with college professors have never been of such a deep and honorable origin. Were it not for his wisdom, passion, and gentle corrections, my love for Bikram would not be what it is today. He has instilled within me a desire to share the practice and its life-changing benefits. For Robert- I wrote the below:

Each class with you has been a gift
Your teachings are so kind
Gently aiding in my postures
Helping center and calm my mind

Mindful of the temperatures
You never let us roast
You encourage us for 90 minutes
At the end- I feel like toast

I thank you for the past 12 months
For everything you’ve done
I know you are quite humble
But I still think you’re number one

May your journey be life changing
Your experiences be great
I’ll hope our paths will cross again
For that I shall rely on fate


I am grateful for Somkeat’s eternal optimism, energy and positivity. Our relationship began with a weekly email from her in which she requested a report that I generate at the corporate office. She was always cheery and always chatty. We became Facebook friends yet I still never paid all that much attention to developing our friendship. It’s easy for me to become wrapped up in the quotidian and to be honest; I have a hard enough time maintaining the relationships that I already have. When I found out that she was going to be leaving my company to pursue her dream of becoming an esthetician I was suddenly sad. I had taken for granted that this girl had been open with me and so I finally took the time to open up back. It turns out that we had a TON in common, and we promised to stay in touch and visit in Las Vegas and L.A. in the next year. Thanks to Som, I have learned to always be open to the opportunity for friendship….everyone around you has so much love to give and so much wisdom to offer.

I suppose with the eve of New Year’s being just around the corner, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic and am ready to break out in “Auld Lang Syne.” But let this serve as a thank you to all those in my life, no matter how close in proximity or far in closeness, for everything you’ve given me: the love, the infinite pearls of wisdom, the attention. I hope that 2010 will be your best year yet!!!