30 Day Challenge- Days three and four

Day Three- January 29th

After discovering that my company did not support my proposal to retain my position whilst I attend teacher training from April 18th- June 16th, I was crushed and uncertain how my practice would be affected that evening. Fiscal and career-centric ramifications aside, I think my ego was bruised more than anything by this denial. Are the relationships I've built over the course of the past three and one half years worth that little? Has my loyalty to my job and my co-workers not been substantial enough to warrant a two month leave? Apparently not. So I shed my tears, sought support from Brett and my parents, and then prepared myself for the practice of that which has instigated my departure from the quotidian job. But more on that later....

I walked through the rainy streets with a sense of solace, excited for day three. Attempting to maintain a curiosity about what the next 90 minutes would bring, I prepared myself for the worst and kept my mind on the present. Saiko pleasantly greeted me as I signed in. I languorously slinked toward the front row to place my mat one spot away from the instructor podium before I headed to the changing room to check my phone and change. At that moment, there was no place else I would rather have been.

During class I felt more zen-like than I had in a long time. I was loose, warm, mentally and physically strong. Unfortunately, toward the end of the series my mind did begin to wander. I was suddenly struck with this horrifying reality that yes, I was indeed going to be leaving my job in just over two months to completely devote myself to Bikram and become a certified instructor. I dug in to each posture as I listened Saiko's quiet, firm and lilting instruction. I giggled through my exhaustion when she mentioned this was the juiciest part of our practice.

I skipped my savasana (rest) at the end of class to hop up, shower, and get ready for a night out with Brett.

Day Four- January 30th

As many of you know, hibernating on the weekend is what I do best. Noon is epically early to be physically active on a Saturday, let alone be awake. However, Verdi's Il Travatore was that evening so I had no choice but to attend the noon class. To make things even more challenging, not only would I be attending practice when I should still be sleeping, but this class was going to be taught by Penni. I knew right away I was in for a challenge.

I had to laugh as I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was flat as a pancake and suctioned to the side of my head like it had been painted on. There was a discomforting lack of makeup...without mascara I may as well be a ghost. I was wearing a darling Lulu combination which included a flowy lavender top that looks more like something that should be worn to a nightclub than an article of clothing in which to sweat for an extended period of time. I paired the aforementioned with a pair of calf length leggings that are in a pattern akin to TV fuzz- if the fuzz were purple, pink and turquoise. Needless to say, Brett thinks these are an abomination. I would, however, immediately regret my decision to wear these leggings....

I showed up to class and the warmth felt great. My hair was so clean (and as I mentioned previously, totally limp) that I could not get it to stay in a ponytail to save my life. I used a bobby pin to clip back my bangs and began to bend and stretch in preparation for class. Penni bounded in and her perma-smile had me hopeful. During the warm-up (pranayama deep breathing), I felt ominously weak. My shoulders ached, my left knee totally discombobulated, and a gross wave of nausea washed over me. During the second posture (the half moon), perhaps my signature, I felt as though I had never even experienced a day of yoga in my life. I may as well have had rigor mortis for all the flexibility I was lacking.

This, unfortunately, was to be the theme throughout practice. I finally understood the point of having a first and second set of each posture. Usually, I am ably to physically tolerate and mold myself like clay into a posture regardless of whether or not it's my first or second go at it. Today, I learned to simply accept what my body could do, embrace it, and move on. Though the most difficult class I have had in a long time, I finished nonetheless.