30 Day Challenge! So Not Yogi

Day 27- February 22nd

I was wound up like a spring ready to rocket into outer space; such was my excitement for going to class tonight. I’ve been having some moments of clarity regarding certain tweaks in my postures, so I couldn’t wait to try them out!

Upon arriving to the studio I placed my mat next to one of my burgeoning yoga buddies Kent and began trumpeting my belief that I’d finally transcended the heat (which I was soon to discover was most definitely not the case.) Mid-sentence, I noticed that my mat was also kitty corner behind Kevin, and Kevin happens to be the studio owner.

I’ve always been a showboat….this can’t be helped. It seems my life’s purpose is to please others, impress them and make them smile. Kevin knows my volition to attend teacher training so I felt obligated to give it my one million per cent. Not to mention the fact that I wanted to impress Kent as well. I can’t help it…I fully recognize that my attention-seeking and pride are not at all in the spirit of a yogi. Though, at least I recognize this fact. Self-awareness is key to reaching the path of discovery and understanding…..or something like that, I think.

My breathing flourished and I felt the promise of a good class at bay. In the half moon posture I pushed my hips far to the left and reached up and over to the right so that I formed a lovely rounded 90* angle. My body glided effortlessly and I serenely focused on myself in the mirror even though I was pushing my body to the utmost maximum of each posture it could achieve.

Then something changed: the air became thick and laden with volcanic heat. I thrust into the triangle posture, deepening my squat so that my thigh, calf and shin felt as though they were being dipped into a vat of molten lava. I winced briefly and considered collapsing onto my mat, simply surrendering to the practice. Instead I buckled down and shifted my attention: breathe….just breathe. I bounced up and transitioned to the other side but felt wobbly. The volcano was rumbling and I wasn’t sure I would persevere. It took every ounce of tenacity and strength I’ve built over the past 27 days to not buckle and relent.

To make matters worse, I was stricken with pangs of hunger that were all but hooting for attention from the depths of my stomach. I felt hollow, ravenous and downright weak. “This is what you get for trying to be a showoff” I chided myself. Needless to say, class wasn’t what I expected. Just as I’ve learned over the course of the past month that things rarely are what you expect them to be. I can only observe, learn, and hopefully grow.